I am in awe of my surroundings, this place which is so perfect, so unreal- and yet so familiar. i feel blessed, spoiled and lost in world that does not belong to my own. And in this mixture of emotions
I am also fearful, worried and scared of what will happen when i have to return. This place where I am in peace and surrounded by others who think and are like me does not belong to me- to anyone. It is a getaway and sad though i may be, we must return to that crazy abyss that we call home. Back to the rude comments, the hateful intolerance that threatens to hunt us down. We are accused of not loving our country when we do everything to make it work. i feel my heart overflowing with love for this world and sadness for those who do not understand what we are all about. This sadness builds and builds and becomes too hard to carry sometimes. The weight of all the injustice slowly wears me down.
Sometimes I can't breathe because I am so angry and I want to shake those who turn a blind eye until they understand. And my heart is sadder still that those closest to me- those who I love the most in this world are across the street protesting against me. They yell and scream and break my heart. "You don't understand"- they say and all I can do is laugh because I know so much more than you know or think I do. I know how it feels to be hated and questioned for the color of your skin- to live in constant dread that someone will come to bring me terrible news about someone I love. I don't want to lose them- I love them all. But my battle- my purpose is more important than trying to please them. They believe they are doing the right thing- bless them because they are so caught up in the perfect life.
Sometimes I wish I could live that worry free beautiful life. I wish that I could sleep at night in total peace. I wish that I didn't cry everyday and fill myself with anger at everything I see on t.v. But my heart cannot close off from what is going on. It is broken and it is sad and though a change may not come in my lifetime I still have to fight and hope that it does. I want to look back on my future and feel proud at what I accomplished. I want to say I was there for the revolution- I created it and I fought with my words and not my fists. And when those who hurt and accuse me finally realize the error of their ways- that is if they ever do- I will receive them with open arms because I cannot fill my heart with anymore hate.

Tanya Lozano

    My experience on the SJEP retreat was amazing. I got to meet a lot of new people and enjoyed every part of the trip. The COD ranch was very quiet and soothing and I felt as if I where home.  The food there was great and I really enjoyed eating three meals a day while we where there. All though when I first got there I was kind of nervous to meet new people and talk but I learned to come out of my shell and interact with others. I also enjoyed all of the workshops that we did and I thought they where really good in teaching everyone something new. Even though in some of the workshops we had to act things out I still participated and thought they where really cool. I also enjoyed playing volleyball and beating Jacob, Mando and Luis twice. Also I thought it was funny that they tried to scare me that night but no one can scare me

. They scared José but they couldn't scare me. It was funny watching José run out of the room with all of his clothes packed and him screaming like a little girl

. I will never forget that. Towards the end of the retreat, I started to not want to go home because I was having more fun there than I would at home. Another thing that I thought was funny was how I was reported missing by my dad when I told him four times that I was going on the retreat for three days. I guess he didn't listen and the cops put out an amber alert form me. I also liked going on a little nature hike with Clare, José, Beatrice, Wesley, Careen and everyone. The whole time we where there they made fun of how I was missing and how I was breaking bushes and stuff to make a path so we can walk through. Thinking back on all of the things that we did at the COD ranch, I learned a lot and really liked everyone's company and getting to know everyone. It was very different because not all the time do you get up early in the morning and watch the sunrise and eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner with people that you don't know but eventually get to know. If I had the chance to go back for another retreat I would be very excited to spend more time with everyone that I work with.

JOHN BUTLER

    Despite waking up at 5:00 a.m. I feel completely rejuvenated.  Never before in my life have I taken the time to acknowledge so many parts of my creative and artistic being.  Waking up to greet the sun, the origin of life, was the best way to start out a day full of reflection through all different spectrums whether it be music, painting, yoga, literature, pretending to be a turtle (thank you Kim) or spoken word.  I felt like a part of the SJEP community from the first moment of meeting everyone.  I can honestly say I consider everyone in the program a member of my extended family.  It was so necessary for me to get away from my comfort zone and remember how easy it can be to get to know yourself and others when one returns to their essence and all the rightfully labeled "weapons of mass distraction," such as television, cell phones, etc. are taken out of the equation.  It was so relaxing to be surrounded by nature and good company.  The only experience that was not calming was when Luis led the initiation prank; needless to say, I think I speak for everyone when I say I almost had an accident in my jammies

.  One of the best parts of the retreat for me was sharing three meals a day together; a privilege I have never had at my own house.  More than ever, it is important for me to find a safe haven in which people with all kinds of different stories can come together with beautiful, positive intentions and create their own story together.  When I arrived back home I felt lonely because over the three days of learning and laughing I had grown so accustom to being surrounded by my new friends.  I could not have picked a more wonderful, talented group of people to work with.  I know we are going to create an outstanding, inspirational documentary and magazine! 

Clare Healy

    The social justice retreat was a cleansing experience. Being out on the C.O.D. ranch, away from the city allowed us to be less distracted from our daily lives. It was a great idea in the fact that we were able to connect with each other quickly, easy, and on broader levels. The retreat inspired me and put my spirits in the right direction. I felt much more comfortable and much more supported in working with everyone this summer. we all established good relationships which proved effective in kicking off our summer work. Thanks to everyone
-Jacob Robles

Being the first week of summer vacation and all, a lot of High School graduates would normally be through with learning for a few months, and most would be sleeping in! Unlike the majority of the student body, a few of us were chosen to to attend this retreat for our SJEP summer jobs. At first I was like, ugh! I can't believe I'm going to be learning when I could be asleep. jaja. When we first arrived to the ranch, I only knew a few of the students who were from Rincon, but I easily opened up to everybody because i felt a very positive enegry from each of the students. We quickly got to know eachother, which was very helpful for the people who took were presenting their workshops because we were all more involved and asking questions. Even though we had to wake up at 5 in the morning to greet the sun, we all got to spend time with eachother in different occasions. The thing I will remember the most was when the facilitators thought it'd be funny to pull a prank on us new people! I'm not going to get into details, but lets just say I was running outside in the middle of the night with all my stuff! jaja.

Anyways, I really want to thank everyone who made it possible for us to attend such an enlightening retreat. I enjoyed every single workshop because the people presenting did it with such passion that it made it even more interesting. That was defintitly a good way to start my first summer as an Adult!

-Jose Estrella

    My summer began with a retreat where i first felt like a complete outcast. Part of the goal of this retreat was to become familiar with the the other students that i would be working with for the summer and to no suprise it worked. Everyone had similar ideas and was so easy to get along with. Although these people are new friends they're much diffrent from my other friends. The entire trip was nothing but fun. We sat through some presentations, learned some new things and all became friends. The C.O.D. ranch was a great choice for a retreat. We got away from th city and any sort of negativity. Many of us didn't have any cell reception so there was minimal distracitions. The scenery was awesome, not something u see everyday. Now many people do yoga but for me it was a whole new experience but a really good one, i've never really felt so relaxed. One of the greatest moments that stands out is when some of the others tried to scare us. At the time when they tried this i had already been asleep in my bed for about an hour in a room of my own and someone busts in to the room next to mine saying hurry up let go. Jose who was the first to hear this jumps out of bed in a panic and grabs all of his belongings and bolts for the door. It was probably the funniest moment of the retreat. Glad i got to meet everyone i'm happy to have taken part in the whole experience and thank you to everyone who was there

Andres Bencomo

Have you ever been in a retreat? Well I have. The retreat I went to was at a ranch called C.O.D.   The staff of SJEP invited me to join them in a retreat. On the 27th-29th of May. Those three days were very informative. I also met amazing people. The ranch was excellent.

 First, every single workshop we had was life changing. The workshops all had to do with our Mexican culture. For example, we had a workshop we learned about corridos, and what meanings there was behind the lyrics. Next, we also learned about ethnics studies; stop the raids, and many other interesting topics. All of these workshops had something in common; they all wanted to fight for a positive change.

 Seconds, I met amazing people. Every person in the retreat had a voice and opinion on all topics. They also wanted to fight for change. All of them were very polite to me; they all wanted to make each other to feel at home. Next, all the facilitators were all trying to help us with any questions, comments or concerns. Even though, they were all young they all know what they want in life. (To help the community)

 Third, the C.O.D ranch was amazing. The sight was very nice and calm. The rooms were very pleasant and well oriented. I liked how the meeting room had windows that opened like doors. The meeting room was were we met for most of the workshops. There was also a pool, it looked very pleasant. All the sights of the ranch was breathtaking, it was just so beautiful.

 Finally, I really enjoyed the workshops. All of them had an interesting topic. Although everyone had their own unique personality, everyone bonded with each other quickly. I hope I can get to know all of them by the end of the summer.

                                                                               By: Ana Islava